Q: I am letting a woman have my unborn child but she is not adopting it we just want an agreement that me her and her

A: Let me say first of all that I think this is crazy talk. It would be much better for your child if you were to simply step back and let the other couple adopt her. If you keep poking your nose into this kids life, you're going to get her confused about who mom and dad are. If you are getting along well with the adoptive parents, trust them to let you in when it's appropriate. OK, now off my soapbox, here's what you need to do to accomplish the foolhardy scheme that you propose: When the child is born, the people who are going to raise the child go to the local courthouse. They tell the clerks office that they want custody papers. They fill out the custody papers. You and the father of the child will need to either go to court or sign a consent to custody being placed with these people. You also ask the court to establish a visitation schedule, which the court will do. You will also have to convince the judge that you shouldn't have to pay child support, because unless your parental rights are terminated you have to pay child support for a child that is not in your custody. Everybody should should probably get lawyers to make this harebrained scheme work legally, and the judge will probably appoint a Guardian ad Litem for the child. All of you should have your heads examined if you choose to go through with this mess.

A: I should have noted in my answer that there is no kind of 'agreement' that will accomplish what you are talking about doing. While you and the other folks may reach an 'agreement' about how to deal with the child, it's worthless paper. When it comes to child custody and visitation, unless you get a judge to give you an order or decree that gives effect to the agreement, you've got nothing.