Coos Bay, OR asked in Family Law for Oregon

Q: I have full physical and full sole custody of both of my children. My daughter is 8 and my son is 5

My childs father left when my son was 2 and had very little contact with my kids until he was served with child support orders. He joined the army before my son turned 3. He hasnt seen my children for 2years. He called me today tthreatening me that he was going to change the custody order and wants my kids for the summers. Omg I would be heart broken. My son also have behavioral problems and anxiety super bad hes different from my daughter. Ive trid explaining to him that hes like this yet he blows it off and acts like it will go away. He has no idea how to take care of my son and my son doesnt even know him or can point him out in a picture. How can I stop this from happening niether of my kids want to go. He hasnt filed yet as far as I know. What cant I do to protect myself???

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1 Lawyer Answer
Vincent J. Bernabei
Vincent J. Bernabei
Answered
  • Beaverton, OR
  • Licensed in Oregon

A: If you already have a court order for full legal custody, then you must also follow the court order for visitation, if there is one. If there is no court order for visitation, then you should suggest in writing that the father of your children begin seeing them a couple times a week, for a couple hours per visit. If father agrees in writing, is consistent, and understands this is for their benefit, then you should consider increasing his time with the children in a few weeks to a full day visit per week. If he becomes a consistent, positive influence in their lives, his time with them should increase and when they are older he can have extended time for summer vacations.

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