What do I do if I the non-custodial parent isn't fostering a healthy relationship with the custodial parent?

Question

I was divorced following a domestic violence incident with a weapon. I was given sole decision making & parental responsibility and moved to NC. The father  given supervised visitation and still lives in CO.  Now when my son goes out to see him (supervised by grandma), he comes home and tells me how bad NC is and how his dad says if he goes to live with them it would be so much better and that they'll buy him a car and promises him everything under the sun. My son is 5 and loves school but he tells me that his dad says he doesn't have to go, that his real friends don't live here and he has to move to CO to be with the ones who really love him. He tells him that I don't care about him or love him as much as his dad does, during long breaks he tells my son that I left him to go have fun without him and all other kinds crazy stuff. I am expected to foster a relationship but the non-custodial parent doesn't?

Stephen J. Plog · Answer

You have the right to file a motion to modify the parenting time, which can include the court entering orders prohibiting your ex from bringing up these issues.    The problem becomes how do you really know.   Additionally, it can be difficult to prove what the ex is saying in that your child's statements to you will not be admissible in court, as they are 'hearsay.'   The way to get around this may be to get a child and family investigator on board.  Your son's statements to that person would be heard by the judge.    The other problematic aspect is that visits are likely few and far between.    Additionally, assuming you can prove what is going on, you may be able to seek a new supervisor, as the grandmother is clearly not supervising appropriately.   A professional supervisor would end a session if the father continued.

Q: What do I do if I the non-custodial parent isn't fostering a healthy relationship with the custodial parent?