Q: My son wasn't put on his daughter's birth cert & now the birth mom is denying all visits & communication for no reason.
My son's (he is 19 years old) daughter is almost 17 months old & we have had her almost every weekend since birth, including 3-4 separate times when her mother left her with us for 7-10 days while she was out of state. Her mom abruptly stopped visits but since my son is not on the birth cert, he doesn't legally have any rights. He doesn't make enough money to hire a lawyer & legal aid doesn't handle this type of case. What forms do I need to fill out to start a paternity case in family court so we can get our visits back? We would love to get 50% custody of her too if we could but right now we all miss her & we know she is missing us dearly. It's just not what's right for her either. We want to get this moving as quickly as possibly for her sake as well as ours. The legal self help center said they had no paperwork forms there & directed us to Dept of Health Services who said to start a child support case but it's not the same thing. We just want to be able to see her again!
A:
Your son will need to start a paternity action to establish paternity. If you search on the State Court Administrator's Office website, you'll find the forms to fill out. You are right that establishing paternity alone will not change custody. Your son will then need to petition for custody and parenting time. But he can do neither until he establishes paternity.
I realize that this route may take more time than what you'd like, but it is the necessary and right process. One step at a time in these matters.
And for anyone who comes across this question and answer for later reference: it is imperative for fathers to establish paternity right away - preferably when the relationship is still amicable - for just this very reason. Yes, establishing paternity will likely lead to a child support obligation. But if you want a court to do anything, you must take the bitter with the sweet.
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