Hillsborough, NJ asked in Domestic Violence for New Jersey

Q: How do I know if I’ve been charged with a crime during Covid

My boyfriend and I had an incident last week where the police were called. I received a victim notification form but did not ask for a restraining order, we do not want anything to come from this incident. He did not receive any paperwork himself was not detained or arrested, does this mean he was not charged with anything? Neither of us have been in this situation before so we don’t completely understand how it works. Any help is greatly appreciated as it is effecting both of our mental health greatly.

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3 Lawyer Answers
H. Scott Aalsberg
H. Scott Aalsberg
Answered
  • Domestic Violence Lawyer
  • East Brunswick, NJ
  • Licensed in New Jersey

A: Generally most people are charged at the scene. However more and more many people are receiving a criminal complaint by mail and this can take 1 to 5 years before the statute of limitations would run. If you get a complaint in the mail immediately hire a good criminal lawyer

1 user found this answer helpful

Richard Diamond
Richard Diamond
Answered
  • Domestic Violence Lawyer
  • Short Hills, NJ
  • Licensed in New Jersey

A: I presume when you say that the police were called, you mean that you or your boyfriend called the police. If neither of you called the police, then someone called them because they were afraid that things were getting too far out of hand and the police needed to intervene. The short answer is that since the police officer did not see any signs of physical violence, he did not file a criminal complaint on your behalf. If he observed injuries or other evidence of physical violence, presume that the officer would have filed a criminal complaint on your behalf ( standard operating procedure to give you time to decide what you want to do). While you suggest that your boyfriend is a great guy, the fact that things got so out of hand, that the police were called, suggests that you and he need to take a step back and decide if counseling is needed or whether this is really a healthy relationship for both of you. He can be a great guy and you can be a great gall, but it doesn't mean that you are best suited together. if I am wrong and you think that you and he are truly terrific together, then counseling cannot hurt. Both of you need to address why things got out of hand and how both of you will ensure that it does not happen again. Simply saying that we learned our lesson and we will be different does not work and it may happen again. Counseling is not about who is right and who is wrong. Its about figuring out what stressors set us off and how we can avoid those stressors and how to back our selves down if we realize that we are getting angry. Years ago, I had a client whose former wife would spit in his face when he would come to pick up the children and he wanted to beat the **** out of her. Yet, instead, you figured out that he would accomplish nothing by such action and damage his relationship with his children. We mapped a plan for dealing constructively with his ex and used the legal system properly to address his concerns and in the end, he maintained his relationship with his children in a health way and we were successful at convincing his former wife to get counseling for her anger. A win-win for him and the children.

James A. Abate
James A. Abate
Answered
  • Domestic Violence Lawyer
  • Somerville, NJ
  • Licensed in New Jersey

A: It does not sound like charges were filed as the police are required to charge domestic violence on a warrant. You can look to see if anything has come in the mail. I would not contact the police as that would remind them to pursue the incident. AG directives have instructed police to wait before filing charges due to Covid.

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