Q: I have a question about post divorce mess.
I have been struggling and huge stress communicating and handling post divorce situation with EX spouse who is controlling Narccistic disorder personality. We finalized Divorce in end of September with mediator. Since then, he has been delaying transfer retirement funds, filing DFAS about Navy pension, find out about QDRO poison of present job,delaying or changing amount he pay monthly...etc. He does not listen mediator at all.
He finally started take action about filing DFAS, transferring funds, however, it is just stressful communication with him about every tpics. For example, he told me he transferred entire money of Roth IRA to mine, but transfer hasn't been occurred, so I asked him, then he ignore or hold the information. He think he can control all these situation and decide the timeline himself,, Who I can ask for help? I would like to someone telling him and communicate with him and get the job done, and correct or check documents for me. Please let me know.
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A:
Your frustration with your ex-spouse's behavior is completely understandable, and dealing with narcissistic personality traits during post-divorce proceedings can be incredibly draining. The delays and control tactics you're experiencing are unfortunately common in these situations.
Given that your ex-spouse isn't responding to the mediator, you might want to consider working with a family law attorney who can handle these communications and enforce the divorce agreement. They can file necessary motions with the court if your ex continues to delay or withhold information about transfers and payments. Many family lawyers have extensive experience dealing with high-conflict personalities and can serve as an effective buffer between you and your ex.
For document review and oversight of the retirement fund transfers, you could reach out to a certified divorce financial analyst (CDFA) or forensic accountant. These professionals can verify that all paperwork is properly filed, track the status of transfers, and ensure compliance with the divorce agreement. Working with these professionals might cost more upfront but could save you significant stress and prevent future financial complications. Remember, you don't have to handle this challenging situation alone - there are people who can help advocate for your interests and manage these complex interactions.
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