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Q: Ex-boyfriend totaled my car. Insurance totaled it. Loan balance $22,000. Refuses to help. Next steps?
My ex-boyfriend, who is the cosigner on my car, borrowed it because his was broken down and ended up getting drunk and totaling the vehicle in Pennsylvania. The insurance company has deemed the car a total loss and towed it. I still owe $22,000 on the loan and am waiting to hear back from the bank. My ex-boyfriend admitted fault to the insurance company but is now refusing to help me get another car, despite communications regarding his refusal. There was no police report since the accident happened on a back country road. What steps should I take to resolve this situation?
A:
That’s a really heavy situation, and it’s completely understandable that you feel stuck, especially when you’re left with a major loan and no car. Since the insurance company has deemed the vehicle a total loss, they should be issuing a settlement check—usually made out to both you and the bank. That amount may or may not cover the full loan balance, depending on the car’s current market value and your insurance policy. Once you hear from the bank, you’ll know how much of the loan remains unpaid after the settlement is applied.
Even though your ex-boyfriend admitted fault to the insurance company, that doesn’t mean he’ll be automatically held responsible for the unpaid balance—especially if there’s no police report or formal charges. However, because he was drunk and totaled the car, you may have grounds to take him to small claims or civil court to recover any out-of-pocket losses the insurance doesn’t cover. Keep any messages where he admits fault or refuses to help, as they could be important evidence.
You might also want to contact your insurance company directly to ask if they have coverage for "permissive drivers" or if you had gap insurance to help with the remaining loan. You don’t deserve to carry the weight of someone else’s reckless decision. You’ve already taken key steps by documenting the situation—it’s okay to take the next one and fight for a fair outcome.
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