Q: I am a single mom trying to find out if it is possible for me to join the US Navy via relinquishing custody to my mom.
I was granted sole conservatorship of my child in Texas, then moved to Colorado. Her father has standard visitation which he does not use and has not used. She and I have lived with my mother since her birth. In order to join the military as a divorced, single parent I must relinquish custody of my child. However, I do NOT want to give her to her father. Not only do they not know one another, but he would not return her to me upon completion of the requirements for the Navy to be able to get her back. Is it possible for me to, for lack of a better phrasing, "go around her father" and relinquish my sole custody to my mother? He will not sign his rights over, but he does not see or know our child. She is one year old, if that matters.
He lives in Texas. My parents, child, and I all live together in Colorado. I also have not lived in Colorado for 6 months +1 day.
A:
At present you have several problems.
(1) You have not resided in with the child in Colorado long enough for Colorado to have jurisdiction (power) over the child. This means that until the 6 mo. + 1 day runs, you would have to file in Texas.
(2) In Colorado, relinquishing custody (either guardianship or adoption) requires the notification (and ideally, consent) of both parents. If the father does not consent, you must convince a judge that it is "in the best interest" of your child to live with your parents over the biological father. Colorado presumes biological parents are in the "best interest" of the child. Unless significant evidence exists to show why the other parent cannot care for the child (the two most common are: a parent is in prison or there is a documented drug/alcohol problem), the courts will likely reject the guardianship or adoption request. In short, it will be hard to overcome the presumption that the child should be given the father.
(3) There are no legally recognized ways to go around the father. Note, many parents do this informally without court approval. However, if you need a signed court order for the Navy these informal means will not work.
(4) Even if all the guardianship is approved, you will have a custody issue if you are killed or missing. Specifically, unless the father cedes (consents) or loses (via a contested hearing) parental rights, if you are dead or missing the child will go to the father.
--In sum, you cannot file in Colorado until the residency requirement has been met. After that, you will either need consent of the father or be ready to enter into a nasty legal battle over guardianship/adoption.
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