Q: Ex is getting out of prison and wants visitation

A: You may have to investigate what is meant by court supervised visitation in your area. My experience is that there isn't a program that an actual court clerk participates in. Rather there is an approved facility of trained people that provide a secure room where the visitation can take place and trained staff is there to observe and intervene if necessary. There may be a charge for using this type of supervised visitation but it usually isn't substantial. So call the court and get some clarification on what the court supervised program involves.

I highly recommend that all visitation is with a professional supervised program and not with your mother. Your ex will be on his best behavior because he is probably on supervised probation and may have to submit to regular and random urine tests. But unfortunately people with substance abuse issues can revert to their old behaviors if they don't have the support they need to stay clean and sober. I would not trust your ex's behavior until he has years of proven sobriety and a steady work history - several years without incident. Not months, not weeks. Both your minor child and your mother need protection from him, particularly your young son. Even one bad visit could have a lasting negative impact on your son. Keep in mind that recovery from addiction does not only involve sobriety, but it involves dealing with emotional and personal issues that become exposed and painful when the "medication" of the drug is taken away. So the abusive behavior and anger issues could actually become worse without the drugs and it can take many years to resolve these issues and that is only if the peron is motivated to get the therapies they need to work through their issues. There may be underlying psychological issues like depression that require diagnosis and medication and it can take years to figure out the best medication and dose for a particular person. So this is going to take a while and in the meantime you need to be vigilant in protecting your child.

People with substance abuse issues are very deceptive and very manipulative. It is part of the disease. You must stand firm in your decision to enforce professionally supervised visitation for a long time to come. (Maybe when your son is bigger and stronger then his father and has demonstrated that he is emotionally mature, you can allow unsupervised visits, like when he is 16.)