Q: If my sons father hasn't seen our son in over 4 years and now wants to have visits do I have to let him?

A: You don't say if there is a parenting time order all ready in place. If there is a parenting time order that was ordered by the court and it hasn't been modified it is still a legal court order and refusing to allow the father to visit as ordered could be contempt of a court order. Of course if there is concern for your son's safety or some other problem then you should immediately file to modify the parenting time order to take care of the safety concerns and not allowing the visit while you seek a modification may not got you into trouble although it is still technically a violation of a court order. By safety concern I mean that the father abuses drugs or alcohol or has mental illness and is not stablized by appropriate medication. But not seeing ones child for 4 years, without more, is not by itself a reason to deny vistation

If there has not been a court order giving you custody and setting out a parenting plan then you don't have to obey a court order that doesn't exist, but the father is likely to file for a parenting plan and the Judge is not going to like hearing that you didn't let the boy see his father. On the other hand, if you have a legitmate concern that the father may try to kidnap the boy, you might want to make sure that there is a judgment ordering that you have custody and that sets out a parenting time plan first. It can take a long time to do this with normal court procedures but if you and your ex can agree to something an attorney can draw it up and take it to the court as a stipulated Judgment and it can be signed and entered very quickly.

Talk to an attorney for more specific advice. It is really hard to give concise legal advice without meeting the client and knowing all the facts of the situation.

A: If there is a court order for parenting time, both parents are obligated to follow it. If father is not willing to visit for brief periods of time, and wants extended visits, then I recommend that you file to modify parenting time and obtain a status quo order, which is a new court order that supersedes your existing parenting time order. The status quo order will provide that father's parenting time is the same as what he's had over the past 90 days, which is nothing. The status quo order remains in effect until the hearing on your motion to modify parenting time.