Q: Can you serve papers when the respondent, petitioner, and child are present?

A: The only requirement for service under Oregon Law is that a party of the litigation or their attorney can't personally deliver the papers but any other adult, such as her father, can certainly had off the papers. So assuming that this is a case filed in Oregon and that Oregon Law controls, the service was done correctly. The rules for service or contained in ORCP 7 (Oregon Rules of Civil Procedure), which you can find on this page: https://www.oregonlegislature.gov/bills_laws/Pages/orcp.aspx.

The purpose of having a non-party do the hand off of the paperwork was to prevent physical altercations between hostile parties of a lawsuit. Having her father do this while she was present with your joint child may have skirted the purpose of not having warring parties physical together when this happens but there is nothing in the rule on service that would say that this invalidates the service.

Please understand that whether or not service was done correctly or incorrectly only serves to show whether you were legally notified of a pending civil action. Raising technical issues about how the service was done isn't going to score point with the Judge. The ORCP 12B also provides:

12B Disregard of error or defect not affecting substantial right. The court shall, in every stage of an action, disregard any error or defect in the pleadings or proceedings which does not affect the substantial rights of the adverse party.

So while you may be upset that your ex wife is dragging you yet again into court for some dispute, looking for a technicality to avoid going to court is not going to help you. You got the notice of the legal proceeding. It wasn't the perfect situation. I don't think you want to raise the issue that serving you while the your ex and your child were present violated the intent of the law because you can't control your anger and you were near exploding and injuring them? If appropriate, in a case involving parenting time or custody issues, you might want to use this situation to show the court that your wife exposed your joint child to an adult legal conflict and that this shows poor judgment as a parent. That might be relevant, but that depends on what the legal issue is that your are going to court for.

Although it costs money, it really helps to talk to an attorney to get a legal perspective as to what you should and shouldn't focus on when you are involved in a legal dispute, domestic or otherwise. We all get emotional when we are pressed to defend our rights and having an objective legal mind set us straight can really help us put on a better case if we are going to represent ourselves. Ideally you should hire an attorney to represent you in the entire legal matter. But at least get a consult if you are going to self represent.