Portland, OR asked in Family Law and Child Custody for Oregon

Q: I have sole custody of my 2 sons with autism and want to move out of state without my ex knowing.

Both my boys have autism, and my youngest is mostly non verbal. Something happened over at his Dad's that caused my son to have PTSD. If I say "Dad" in ANY context (in any convo to others) he turns white and panicks. Sadly he can't tell me why. I was granted sole custody of them both in the divorce. Parenting time for my ex was 11am Sat-6pm Sunday. Twice a month. He has had ZERO contact with them for over 2 years. No calls, no birthday cards. Zilch. We have better support in another state and chance for a better quality of life. I don't want him knowing when or where, but I want to do things the legal way. He is emotionally abusive. He gaslighted me through my entire marriage and continued even after for a couple years. He would fight against me just so he could have control again. I've been miserable here for years and depressed. Moving with better support would improve our lives in many ways. Happy Mom means happier boys. Here, I just exist. I want to thrive again.

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1 Lawyer Answer
Vincent J. Bernabei
Vincent J. Bernabei
Answered
  • Divorce Lawyer
  • Beaverton, OR
  • Licensed in Oregon

A: The answer depends on the terms of your judgment of dissolution of marriage. If it states you are required to give notice of your move, then you are required to give notice.

The decision whether to modify parenting time to permit the relocation of children hinges “solely on the best interests of the children.” The only question is whether the children are ‘better served’ by relocating.

The court must consider the following relevant factors:

(a) The emotional ties between the child and other family members;

(b) The interest of the parties in and attitude toward the child;

( c) The desirability of continuing an existing relationship;

(d) The abuse of one parent by the other;

(e) The preference for the primary caregiver of the child, if the caregiver is deemed fit by the court; and

(f) The willingness and ability of each parent to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing relationship between the other parent and the child.

You should consult with an attorney to determine how best to proceed.

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