Lake Oswego, OR asked in Child Custody and Family Law for Oregon

Q: Can a parent with sole custody determine who pu and returns children for weekend visitation if not noncustodial parent?

Noncustodial parent has girlfriend who has harassed and threatened custodial parent to where it is confrontational when she picks up 3 minor children for father. Text messages back it all up. Motion to prevent her from being present or alone in picking up children or from driving them to Seattle for father's weekend?

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1 Lawyer Answer
Joanne Reisman
Joanne Reisman
  • Divorce Lawyer
  • Portland, OR
  • Licensed in Oregon

A: No you can't unilaterally dictate terms of your parenting plan. You can change it by mutual agreement with the other parent. I am going to assume that this isn't likely.

If the parenting plan doesn't specify who picks up the children and you are having problems with girlfriend when the pandemic is over you should file a motion to modify the parenting plan so that these types of details are worked out. But right now the courts are operating on an extremely limited basis and this is something you can either just tolerate or come up with a reasonable solution. Unfortunately the tactics I would normally recommend may not work very well right now. For example couples sometimes use a public place to do the handover of the children but that isn't an option right now. Or sometimes a neutral friend or relative can do the exchange for you but right now that might mean exposing them to COVID19 or worse, exposing your children.

About the only thing I can think of to avoid this is you just drive the children to Seattle yourself. I know it means a lot of driving and you having to pay for the gas but it would avoid the girlfriend pickup issue until the courts are back in regular session so ask yourself if this bothers you enough to do the driving for a while.

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