Q: My supervisor/ significant other threatened a TRO against me. How will I know if they have gone through with it?
My supervisor at work is also who I am seeing romantically and have been for the last 4 years. He constantly holds the job/ relationship over my head if I do something that upsets him. We got into a disagreement on Monday of this week and he threatened to get a temporary restraining order against me. I have not contacted him about anything since this threat. How will I know if he has gone forward with it? Will the police come to my house to serve me?
A: To begin with, I would contact your local police department and let them know that your boos / romantic partner has threatened to file a domestic violence complaint against you and you wanted to know if he followed through on his threat. If he did, a copy of that complaint would have been sent to the police department in your town for service purposes. You are better off communicating with the local police instead of having them show up at your door unannounced. I would give them your cell phone number and let them know that if he does go through with the filing of the complaint, that they can contact you on your cell phone to make the service of the complaint easier. Rest assured that they will be appreciative of that call, so that it can reduce their stress as well. Having to serve a domestic violence complaint is stressful for an officer too, since he has no idea as to how you or anyone else will respond to the receipt of the complaint. Presuming that he has not filed a complaint ( and the police have nothing to serve on you), then I would let the police know that given the threat, you have made the decision to end your relationship with this person and to end all future contact. Again, you sound reasonable and are taking reasonable steps to extricate yourself from a bad relationship. The next issue is how do you extricate yourself from this setting since he is your boss as well. My suggestion is that you go to HR and let them know that you have had a relationship with your supervisor for the past 4 years but that it is clear that it is unhealthy for both of you and that you need to be transferred to another section or that he needs to be transferred since you and he cannot continue to work together any longer. Presume that your employer does not want a setting where you later claim that it is a hostile work environment and therefore, they will want to work with you to help you find a solution ( other then simply terminating you).
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