Q: i'm 14 and neither of my parents have sole custody of me, so can i live with either parent?
A: The most simplistic answer is that without a court order your father may not have legal rights to make decisions for you. This could cause problems at doctors' offices, schools, etc. The good news is that, yes, you do get a say in where you want to live. How much your voice is heard on the matter depends on how reasonable your parents are and what all the other facts are. If you can, discuss it with both parents or with a school counselor or teacher you trust (by email probably right now).
If there is a court order for joint custody (not sole or full like your question states), that order gets followed until your parents either agree to change it or a court orders it changed.
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