Q: Husband threatening me.
I had an affair that ultimately resulted in me filing for divorce. My husband agreed that was what he wanted. He moved out as soon as the papers were filed. I live in MY house with our three kids. My oldest is almost 13 and when we were all together before he moved out, we both agreed she was old enough to babysit her two siblings, 10 and 7. She would watch them if I went for a walk, my husband and I to dinner, a night out, when I was at work, running to the store…ANY circumstance, she was our babysitter. My husband has been out of the house for a month, I went for a walk yesterday and has my oldest baby-sit. My husband drove by my house and saw my car wasn’t there and called me over and over, demanding to know where I was and why I “left” the kids. Complete with telling me “don’t make me hunt you down”. Now he says, if I do ANYTHING to make him upset or “leave” the kids, he will get a lawyer and take them from me. I’m a prisoner and can’t leave for any reason in fear he w
A:
What you are experiencing is unfortunately not all that uncommon when divorces are filed - emotions and feeling change, and people's memories of how things were become fuzzy.
There is an orderly process to resolve divorce issues through the court system; and that process is intended to dissolve power dynamics, and come to an equitable (not necessarily equal or "fair") outcome.
Don't give in to the fear tactics. Let him get a lawyer if he so chooses; and you should do the same. The reality, though, is that he will likely end up disappointed if his expectation is that he's going to "take them" from you. But if he wants to spend the money to find that out, let him. If you become fearful of imminent harm or stalking, you can seek a PPO.
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