Q: My wife moved in with her boyfriend and now refuses talk to me about my daughter. I instead have to ask her boyfriend
Is that legal first of all. Second my ex wife knows our daughter better than anyone so that is why I would prefer to talk with her. This is not about my ex wife it’s about my daughter. I only find out about my daughters life by asking her questions which she doesn’t really like to answer. Just simple things. I guess my point is I would really really love to know what is going on with my daughter and I am uncomfortable nor do I feel it’s right to have to ask her boyfriend. Please advise me as I only get 4 days a month with my daughter, and prior to my wife moving in with her boyfriend I had my daughter every weekend plus one week night. They moved to a different town and things quickly changed. I feel as if I am losing my connection with my daughter and it’s killing me.
A: It isn't clear from your question if the mother of your child is your wife or your ex wife. If she is your ex wife, I assume there is a divorce decree in place that sets forth each parent's parenting time and possibly even a communication protocol. If there is and the mother is not following such, you may want to consider filing for an enforcement action to ask for the Court's assistance in requiring the other party to give you court-ordered parenting time or follow the communication protocol. One of the most common enforcement mechanisms is called a show cause/contempt action.
If there isn't an order in place or you would like your order to be modified, you may want to consider filing a custody, divorce action, or modification action (depending on your circumstances now) to get an order in place so that each party's rights and responsibilities are more clearly defined in writing.
Keep in mind that the Court is not a miracle worker. If your communication with the other parent is bad, no court order is going to make it perfect. That being said, having specifics that each party must follow can go a long way in making sure parents are sharing information and give the Court something to enforce if one parent is not following such. For example, some orders will require parents to communicate using a parenting app and require a response to parenting questions within a certain period of time. These parenting apps can include things like shared calendars so both parents can upload and easily see when the child has extracurricular or school activities scheduled.
It is also not uncommon for orders to state that the communication shall be between the biological parents only, and not the significant other of a parent. Other specific communication requirements can also be helpful depending on the circumstances. You may not ever get the communication that you would like, but it can at least make it so that you are not ignored or completely cut out.
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