How can you be charged with simple assault by being recorded threatening someone who threatened you first

Question

But they weren't recording themselves but you now my wife told me she would shoot me while I'm sleeping because she was trying to get me to put my hands on her so I can get arrested and go to jail but I told her I have a gun too and I'll shoot you in the face which we say stuff like that to each other all the time for the last three years we've been married for a Lil over ten I saw a law that gave an example that if a person threatens to punch someone in the face but don't act on it its not a crime until the person actually starts to show commitment to do so I didn't have my gun on me it was in my snake boots by the back door in the kitchen and the clip was on the kitchen counter and after I said what I said I went to our room to go get some corn to throw out for the deer to come she then came in the room starting more stuff but she never felt threatened at all because if she did after I said what I said she would've left right then not ten or twenty minutes later

Q: How can you be charged with simple assault by being recorded threatening someone who threatened you first