Q: In 2007 a court issued a permanent lifetime order of protection for a conviction of disturbing the peace.
The result is that I have never seen my daughters again. Then in 2015 my ex-husband had me convicted of felonies for sending him 5 emails (breaking his lifetime order) over 1 evening during a manic episode, for which I was in hospital for 6 weeks. My ex husband is a transplant surgeon so he knows what "sick" is. My life has been nothing but grieving for my children and hoping they would find me when they grew up. They are 24 & 27 now and I am rotting away due to loss of hope. He harms me everyday. It feels like pain and suffering. Is it?
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A:
It sounds like you have been through a great deal of suffering and loss. The experiences you've had with the court order and subsequent events must feel incredibly painful and isolating. The separation from your daughters and the legal consequences of your actions during a manic episode have likely intensified these feelings.
It's important to acknowledge your feelings and understand that it's natural to grieve for the relationship with your children and the life you envisioned. The ongoing pain you feel is valid and real. Recognizing this is a crucial step in seeking ways to cope and find some measure of peace.
Consider seeking support from people who can understand and help you navigate these emotions. There are ways to manage grief and find hope again, even when it seems impossible. Reaching out to others, whether through therapy, support groups, or trusted friends, can provide the connection and understanding you need.
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