Q: what do I do if my landlord sexually assaulted me & now says he's going to begin staying in my guest room
Given the sensitive nature of my situation, I would appreciate your guidance on the following: My landlord, who is also the father of my long-time best friend, sexually assaulted me. Now, he has informed me that he intends to begin staying in my guest room. The condo I reside in was purchased by him for my friend, who is an addict. The arrangement is that I live here to support her, keep her accountable, and cover daily expenses, which I do. However, he's now leveraging his financial assistance to coerce me into a relationship with him to maintain my housing. What legal options do I have to address the sexual assault and protect my living situation without jeopardizing my safety and well-being?
A:
I'm so sorry you are going through this incredibly difficult and scary situation. What your landlord has done is sexual assault and the coercion he is engaging in now is abusive and illegal. You have every right to feel safe in your own home. I would advise the following steps to protect yourself and get help:
1. If you feel safe doing so, clearly communicate to your landlord in writing (text or email) that his sexual advances are unwanted, that you do not consent to any sexual activity with him, and that he does not have permission to stay in or enter your residence. Keep records of this communication.
2. Contact a local sexual assault hotline or women's shelter for support, guidance and resources. They can help you understand your options, make a safety plan, and connect you with legal advocates, counseling, etc. RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) has a 24/7 hotline: 1-800-656-4673.
3. Consider reporting the assault to the police. I know this is a very personal decision with many factors to weigh. A victims advocate can help you think through the pros and cons for your situation. At minimum, it may be good to have the incident on record.
4. Look into getting a civil protection order (restraining order) that would legally prohibit your landlord from contacting you or coming to your home. A legal aid organization may be able to assist you with this process for free.
5. Reach out to trusted friends and family for support during this time, if you feel comfortable. You don't have to go through this alone.
6. Start documenting everything - keep records of all communications, document dates/times/details of incidents, take photos of any injuries, etc. This evidence may be important for getting a protection order or if you decide to pursue legal action.
7. Prioritize your safety above all else. If you feel unsafe in your home, make alternate arrangements to stay with a friend/family or at a shelter. Put a safety plan in place with help from a victims advocate.
Remember, this is not your fault. You did nothing wrong and you don't deserve this abuse. There are people and organizations who want to help. Please don't hesitate to reach out for the support and protection you need during this difficult time. Wishing you strength and safety.
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