Q: Can my ex-wife dictate which high-priced children's activities I have to share costs?
I am a college professor divorced from an Ob/Gyn whose income is about three times greater than mine. We have 50:50 shared custody of our two teenaged children. She pays me alimony and child support which is a small fraction of her salary. My income plus alimony is barely enough to pay my monthly expenses which include significant educational debt. I spend freely on activities for the kids when they are with me; I do not skimp on them at all. However, each summer my ex-wife sends my daughter on a $4000+ sleep-away summer camp and demands that I pay for half, even though I tell her I can't afford it and will not pay for it (she can afford it easily). She berates me and threatens me with legal action, so I have ended up going into increasing debt that I'm unable to pay off so I can contribute to this expense. My question is whether my ex-wife is able to dictate to me that I have to pay for half of an incredibly expensive activity for my daughter that she can afford but I cannot.
A: As a starting point you need to review your parenting plan and/or final judgment as to what was ordered or agreed to when it comes to summer camp and whether you treated summer camp as an extra-curricular activity and then look at how you agreed or were ordered to split the extra-curricular costs. You should consult with an attorney on this matter so that a determination can be made after a careful review of all the pertinent documents on whether a contempt/enforcement or other action is in order. Please keep in mind that if you exercise shared parental responsibility and your ex is making unilateral decisions that she informs you of after-the-fact on a regular basis and not as an isolated incident, a modification may also be in order. All the best.
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