Q: What are the grounds for sole custody if a parent doesn't exercise their parental rights?

A: Hello and thanks for asking your question. I'm sorry you are going through a frustrating time with your child's other parent. It is a difficult situation when it seems like a parent just isn't interested in doing more with their child, for sure. Without complete details of your case, it's a bit difficult to give you full advice, but I can give you some general information that I hope will be helpful.

All courts and judges in New Jersey make decisions about custody and parenting time based upon what is in a child's best interests. And, they start with the idea that children do best with as much involvement with both parents as possible. So, even as frustrating as your child's other parent can be, it is a hard case to prove to the judge that him having even less involvement in your child's life is in your child's best interests.

However, if your ex's repeated cancelling or not showing up for parenting time is negatively affecting your child emotionally or psychologically, then perhaps his best interests are not being served, although you do not say that you want to stop the parenting time, just that you want sole legal and physical custody. And, asking the court to stop or change the parenting time is a two-edged sword: you may stop the no-shows and cancellations, but now you have your child not seeing his father less or even not at all.

Sharing legal custody in New Jersey means sharing the decision making for the big issues in your son's life: major medical decisions, decisions about his education, decisions about religion. It also give both of you the ability to talk to his doctors and teachers and to look at his medical and school records. In other words, sharing legal custody really doesn't affect the fact that you child's other parent is not as involved as he should or could be.

I would try to talk to his father about what is going on and see if the two of you can come to an agreement and a schedule that works for the entire family. Perhaps mediation is a good route for you and we can certainly help you with that. You want to spend as little emotion and money as possible while keeping a peaceful place for you and your son. We have offices throughout New Jersey and can certainly offer you assistance, but many other New Jersey attorneys also offer free consultations. At least consider talking with a family law attorney to get more specific guidance about your situation. Hope this was helpful. Regards, Bari