Q: My mom was diagnosed with dementia. She doesn't want to leave her house but is unable to live alone. My siblings and I

A: It depends. Even though someone has dementia it does not mean they are incompetent to make their own decisions. If you mom wants to live in her own home and has sufficient assets to payfor that she should stay there until her assets run out. Hire some caregivers to take care of her. Put yourself in her shoes. Would you want to live at home as long as possible with family checking in to make sure your needs are being met? I bet you would. Let your mother decide what she wants and do the best you can to accomodate that.

A: Your mom gets to decide for as long as she is competent to make decisions. If she has not executed a durable power of attorney, there may be some family disagreements in the future. One of the relatives may have to become the conservator.

A: You should consult with an elder law attorney who can assist you in determining the best living situation for your Mom and can try to get everyone to agree to do what is right for your Mom. If she has not seen an elder law or estate planning attorney in the last couple of years, she should do so now to discuss her choices while she still has the mental capacity to do so. A diagnosis of dementia does not necessarily mean she lacks all mental capacity. Once she does reach that point, however, and cannot be convinced to move to a safe place, a conservatorship may be necessary, but you want to try to avoid that as it can be a very expensive process.