Salem, VA asked in Domestic Violence for Virginia

Q: Two year protective order against spouse showing signs of dementia. He is contacting me via text. He needa help not jail

I have a 2 year protection order against my spouse of 28 years. It has come to my attention that he is more than likely in the 1st or 2nd stages of dementia. He has started texting me nonstop, calling and crying. He also recently came to my home and flipped his vehicle into a ditch totalling it. He is very confused, unkempt, not taking meds, not paying bills & spending his money irresponsibly. I don't want to drop the order (he is still abusive and threatening in texts)but I want to get himhelp. He has already gone to jail this past year 2 times for violations. Our family can't handle this anymore. When he goes to jail my children blame me. He's in no condition to be in jail. He doesn't even remember going until we make him remember, then he doesn't know why. How do I get him help without him being in violation?

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1 Lawyer Answer
Gary D. Godman
Gary D. Godman
  • Stafford, VA
  • Licensed in Virginia

A: Without knowing all the details, it appears there is not much you can do. It is unfortunately up to him to decide to get treatment. If you don't want to drop the protective order, you shouldn't. Perhaps you or your children should research mental health options in your area to see if there is a program that may be helpful.

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