Q: My mother has blocked my access to my father. Can I get an order to allow me calls or visits?
My dad is 97 and failing physically but mentally competent. My mom, who has mental health issues, has convinced herself that I am out to steal his money and refuses to allow me phone calls or letters.
I have refrained from going over in person because I want to avoid even the appearance of impropriety. Despite video evidence to the contrary, her delusional state causes her to believe that I enter her house anytime she leaves and "steal stuff."
My dad was hospitalized last week so I called him there, and had a brief but humorous conversation, with no indication he wished to break contact. Because the call was on speaker phone I could not ask directly, and when I called later that day he had been removed from the hospital directory.
Besides the obvious personal grief Mom's delusions cause, I am concerned my Dad may not be receiving proper medical care. What, if anything, can I do?
A:
Less expensive method would be to conduct Adult Protective Services division of the Department of Human Services in your county, share your concerns, and ask that they check on your dad. You also may want to go over to visit him, and take a witness with you to video your asking to visit. You also should try to telephone your dad, and record the calls. In Oklahoma you do not need to tell the other person on the call that you are recording them. You should do this before you visit DHS so you have some "evidence" to back up your concern.
It also sounds like you should consult an experienced family law attorney for help. It would appear that it may be time to appoint a guardian for your dad to make sure he is properly cared for. There will be costs involved, but if you are successful, and dad has the necessary funds, the Court will probably permit the attorney fees and costs to be paid by him. Good luck, and hope your dad is doing OK.
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