Fort Payne, AL asked in Family Law and Child Custody for Alabama

Q: After sharing my girls week to week can I still get primary joint and him receive every other weekend? They are under 2.

I have been a sahm with them since they were born. I have another son who’s 4 with a previous marriage and I have sole custody of him. Being away from his sisters this long has been very hard on him. The girls are starting to not eat at their dads and very emotional. I feel like with them being so young this is a lot of stress on them. He lives in Cullman, AL and I live in Fort Payne, AL. Their dad is a great man, but is a farmer and works long hours. They are with a babysitter when he has them and they are with me always when I have them. I clean houses and they go with me. I know he wants equal time with them, but I feel like for the emotional well being of the children less time will be better.

Related Topics:
1 Lawyer Answer
Shane Michael Oncale
Shane Michael Oncale
Answered
  • Divorce Lawyer
  • Birmingham, AL
  • Licensed in Alabama

A: These types of cases can be very difficult. Is there currently a custody and visitation order in place that gives him week on week off visitation? Was that an agreement or was it ordered by the court? How long have you been doing week on week off visitation? How do you exchange the children and when given the fact there is a significant distance between you? You take them to work with you...how are they cared for and by whom when he works? How long are long hours for his work and who is their caregiver during those hours? How much quality time does he spend with them during his time? The questions almost outweigh the answer. Some of the difficulties may come, unfortunately, from you trying to do the right thing not necessarily for the children but for the father and as they often say no good deed goes unpunished. It sounds like it is good and "fair" to him to have week on week off visitation but it might not be what it best for the children. Parents and even judges struggle with this concept. What is "fair" to the parents is not always in the best interests of the children. Also there is the notion that once a pattern is established it is emotionally harmful on the children for the pattern to change so by establishing this pattern...depending on how long it has been going on...you might have created a hole for yourself. I suggest you reach out with the full facts to speak to an attorney to represent you...Preferably one who is aware of and familiar with the judges in your jurisdiction. It is important that you do so soon because given the fact pattern as I read it your husband could file a case in Cullman County before you could get one filed in DeKalb County and you could find yourself trying to defend a case there.

Justia Ask a Lawyer is a forum for consumers to get answers to basic legal questions. Any information sent through Justia Ask a Lawyer is not secure and is done so on a non-confidential basis only.

The use of this website to ask questions or receive answers does not create an attorney–client relationship between you and Justia, or between you and any attorney who receives your information or responds to your questions, nor is it intended to create such a relationship. Additionally, no responses on this forum constitute legal advice, which must be tailored to the specific circumstances of each case. You should not act upon information provided in Justia Ask a Lawyer without seeking professional counsel from an attorney admitted or authorized to practice in your jurisdiction. Justia assumes no responsibility to any person who relies on information contained on or received through this site and disclaims all liability in respect to such information.

Justia cannot guarantee that the information on this website (including any legal information provided by an attorney through this service) is accurate, complete, or up-to-date. While we intend to make every attempt to keep the information on this site current, the owners of and contributors to this site make no claims, promises or guarantees about the accuracy, completeness or adequacy of the information contained in or linked to from this site.