Q: Do I have any options if my grandchild will be kept from me?
Recently my daughter in law texted me and out of the blue felt it necessary to tell me that my grandchild who will be born in May, will spend his or her first Xmas in another state with her family and no special arrangements to get together with me for holidays will be allowed. This caught me by surprise because up until just recently my daughter in law seemingly liked me very much. A bit of history... when she and my son told me they were expecting, she said that once the baby was born they were not going to go out of their way to get together with me for holidays because they don’t want to run around. During the text she sent, I said that I would hope she agreed that I should be allowed to see my son for the holidays. At this point she waged an all out attack on me criticizing my behavior of asking to see my son for the holidays. She strongly eluded that this behavior is pushing me out. I don’t know exactly what that meant. I feel she will keep my future grandchild from me.
A: Unfortunately, you have no legal rights to enforce so long as your son is alive and in the picture. If your son were to die or become imprisoned, Maryland law would allow a grandparent to petition for reasonable limited visitation so as not to freeze out the paternal side of the family. However, choices over whom parents of a child allow to see and visit are exclusively within the discretion of the parents. Certainly your son, the father, can make decisions regarding his own child and who has access to him/her. It sounds as though you have an over-bearing daughter-in-law, but it is up to your son, not the courts or you, to stand up to her. You might benefit from consulting with a family counselor or therapist to learn coping and communication skills on how to deal with your daughter-in-law, in order to diffuse the situation, and open up both a dialogue and setting boundaries that everyone can agree upon. Resorting to lawyers and the law will only drive you further apart.
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