New York, NY asked in Child Custody for New Jersey

Q: What to do when the mother refused to give me my daughter during my parenting time? Can I get custody back?

Hi, I am divorced since 2015, I have the father with set visitation. I live in NY and the mother lives in Monmouth County NJ, 60 miles away. She has full custody. Very often I travel 1.5 hours to pick up my daughter and then the mother refuses to let her go with me. When I call the police they just tell me to go to Court. She is brainwashing my daughter, and I have text messages from my daughter proving me. Like she locks my daughter in her room when I come and then she tells me that she doesn't want to see me. She brainwashes my daughter about my current wife...

I am desperate, what can I do? How can I get custody back?

Please help

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2 Lawyer Answers
Teresa L. Reichek
Teresa L. Reichek
Answered
  • Divorce Lawyer
  • Mount Laurel, NJ
  • Licensed in New Jersey

A: Thank you for reaching out. I'm sure this is a difficult and stressful situation for you. There are several things you could do involving the court system. If you feel your daughter is in danger you could file an Order to Show Cause.

More likely, you will need to file a Motion for Enforcement and Modification to enforce and/or change the terms of your final divorce agreement. You may also want to request that your daughter be allowed to participate in family counseling with you or individual counseling so she can better understand the circumstances in a safe space. You can also requat make up parenting time for the times that your former spouse refused to allow you parenting time. This can sometimes be accomplished via a large chunk of time in the summer or over a long holiday break.

All of these options require the skill and nuance of an experienced family law attorney. You should seek an attorney in the same county where you were divorced, so likely Monmouth. Many such firms, including mine, offer free consultation to explore your options. If you were divorced in NY then you would seek to have your divorce registered in Monmouth County as that is where your daughter lives. Again, an attorney can help with all the details. Good luck.

Richard Diamond
Richard Diamond
Answered
  • Divorce Lawyer
  • Short Hills, NJ
  • Licensed in New Jersey

A: Short answer is that you are not going to have a choice but to file an application with the court to redress this situation, but I will tell you that it will also not be resolved by the filing of 1 application and will probably take 2-3 applications and orders from the court for cooperation and reunification counseling before the court takes sterner action against your former spouse. Im sure that in response to your application, your former wife will claim that she is doing nothing wrong and that the issue is between you and your daughter and that you do things to cause or create the divide. When she makes that claim, the judge will admonish both of you to work together and he will suggest that you and your daughter go to reunification counseling together to deal with whatever issues are outstanding. And, if everything you say is correct, then your former wife will not cooperate with the reunification process and continue to speak badly of you and as a result, you will need to file another application with the court for sanctions and specific additional intervention by the court. You may even need to file another application before the judge has a clearer handle on who is doing what and why your daughter is resistant to be with you.

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