Q: I have sole custody, can my ex decide he & his mom are going to watch the kids while I work to save on childcare costs?
My ex husband has informed me that he cannot afford to pay his portion for after school care so he or his mom will be picking up the kids from school and watching them. In our decree he only has visitation 2 days a week after school and he has to pay 60% of childcare costs. He said because there is now a "free" childcare option he no longer has to pay his portion of childcare costs. It is not suitable for he or his mom to have the kids 5 days a week for many reasons (which is why I have sole custody). I tried to compromise and told him if he can commit to the same two days every week to pick them up (per the aftercare policy), then we could just use the 3 day a week aftercare program, which costs less. He refuses and says he will not pay for childcare since his mom can do it for free.
A: This is a simple and complex answer at the same time. The court order is what must be enforced. If you are the sole legal custodian, then what you say goes. Plus it looks like it is written right in the order, so it really can't be unilaterally changed by him. On the other hand, if he files for a modification, most judges (depending on the age of the child) will agree that saving the money would be preferable. I think you are on the right track with a compromise of allowing him to reduce the cost of child care by taking a couple of days. There is also the issue of the mother being the care giver and her ability to do so. Probably worth talking with your attorney or hiring one to simply negotiate a resolution.
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