Q: My wife and I split up after i caught her cheating. If I take her to Court to help pay our kids bills could i lose kid?
After I caught my wife cheating we felt it best she move, we split custody 50/50 haven't gotten a "proper" divorce decree, she did not want to take that route. I have always paid 100% of the child care and my daughters insurance on top 100% of our mortgage and home ins. (etc), everything is under my name. She has had time to get back on her feet so yesterday I asked if she would be able to start respectfully help pay for some of our daughters bill's, because in light of the pandemic I'm not making as much. In returned she threatened me with court saying she was going to take my daughter take half my house and make me pay child support on top of all her bills I already pay all because she makes much less than me, I am scared because everyone says this state favors mom's, I never wanted to take her from her mother I just wanted her to share in the fiscal burden I have had to bear the last year alone. Would it be wise to pursue this in court or will she be able to take my house and kid?
A: It is a complex question with a complex answer. It appears as if you have financially supported everyone for a period of time. It also appears that you wife no longer needs you complete financial support. Need is a primary issue when looking at spousal support. Regarding the child support; it is based on a calculation that is pretty straight forward. It is based on gross income and number of nights each of you have the child. Who gets legal and physical custody is all about the best interest of the child. The mother does not get special treatment, unless the child is very young, and then it is not necessarily the case. I would sit down with a good attorney and they should be able to scope out the risk reward for you. If you are in the Tulsa area, give us a call for a free consult.
A: The short answer is yes anything is possible and any lawyer telling you otherwise is just trying to get your cash. In any custody issue, there are many moving parts that the court will consider. The most important one, the best interest of the child. Your interest, the mothers interest, grandparents interest, are only small factors when comparing it to the interest of the child (not the desire of the child, but interest as in what is the best environment for them). Historically in the past this State was favoring of the mother, however the judges that are on the bench today no longer follow that mindset and they are much more acceptable to fathers rights as well. The fact that you are not divorced does create issues on your marital property and I would strongly suggest that you sit down with a family lawyer sooner rather than later, so you are not facing an uphill battle.
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