Q: I have filed a post divorce motion pro se in NJ. Will I be allowed to question her during oral arguments?

A: Oral argument on motion practice is not the time to "cross-examine" the other side. On a typical "motion day" a family part judge has 10 -12 different applications pending before him and at least 8- 10 applications where the parties were not seeking oral argument. The judge's law clerk reads all of the papers in connection with each application and then does a write up for the judge on each sides position for the application ( based on the information submitted in the application/opposition) and then the judge reads the submissions and his law clerks submission to prepare him for oral argument. At oral argument, the judge may have specific questions and will direct those questions to you or to your former spouse based on what he has read. He will then give you and your spouse the opportunity to highlight for the court the key information presented in your application. You are not allowed to make statements about items not specifically referenced in your submission nor ask for relief not sought by your application. As an example, if your certification states that she prohibited you from taking your daughter on December 11th even though it was your night to be with your daughter, you cant tell the court about an incident that occurred in September unless that incident was specifically addressed in your certification since it would not be fair for you to attack her on things that she was unable to properly prepare for and the same goes for your ex. She cannot walk into court and start ranting about things not in her certification as well and if she did not file opposition papers, the court should view the application as unopposed and focus on the material you submitted. Many people become frustrated with the court system, believing that the judge was unfair to him/her when the reality is that they failed to file the application properly or presented the material incorrectly before the court and then think that the judge is there to take their side and read through the history of their file to figure out what has taken place. Wrong. If your ex has engaged in inappropriate actions and you believe that you are entitled to specific relief, then you need to know what you need to present or hire a skilled family law attorney to represent you. If you do it wrong, you cant then hire a lawyer and ask him to simply refile the application since the opposition will simply state that this issue was previously presented and rejected by the court.