Vail, AZ asked in Family Law, Child Custody and Juvenile Law for Arizona

Q: daughter wants disowned from father We are still married concerns her health as future trans patient He won't help

Any advice would be helpful. She has felt this way for years. I believe this is who she/ he is. He does not agree. He will not help her. It has taken a toll on her mentally and physically.

2 Lawyer Answers

A: Not sure if we are discussing an adult child or a child who remains a minor. I am going to answer assuming this is an adult child. The only thing he is required to do for an adult child is to provide her health insurance information until she reaches age 26 (I believe, I am not an expert on health insurance so please confirm with a reputable health insurance advisor). While nearly all children want and need the support of their parents and compassionate parents provide that love and support regardless of their opinion of their children's decisions; there is no law that a parent must love a trans child. There is no court in this country, certainly not in the State of Arizona, that is going to hold a parent civilly liable for the infliction of emotional distress on a child for disagreeing with a significant life choice like altering their gender.

I believe counseling is more appropriate than legal advice. If dad will not get counseling, the child should at least be in therapy. For the record, not to "fix" the child but to help the child cope with dad's unwillingness to accept her for who she believes she really is.

Two last bits of advice. One, if she wants to "disown" him, the only legal remedy would be a name change to sever the connection with him there. If you took your husband's name when you married, that would also place distance - on paper - between the two of you as well. Second, unless there are other reasons why you should end your marriage, I would not let the disagreement between your daughter and your husband destroy your marriage. If all the other reasons you married your husband are still valid; you must find a way (possibly through your own therapy) to separate the two relationships. Your daughter either already has or one day will set off on her own course. You cannot live your life for or through her. If you are otherwise happy in your marriage, keep this out of it and focus on maintaining the health of your relationship with your spouse.

Stephen M Vincent agrees with this answer

A: I agree with the above. As he wrote from the perspective of your daughter being an adult, I will write from the perspective of your daughter being a minor. It is possible she can seek emancipation. That is not really my area of expertise, and I would certainly recommend consulting with a juvenile attorney about that option if it applies here, but I will tell you the standards include (1) that she can be self-sufficient on her own, and (2) she is of suitable age and maturity.

Again, I'd recommend you speak with a juvenile attorney before filing as they can give you a fuller picture of all that's required than I can.

Best of luck to you.

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