Q: How much consideration does a judge give to the child’s wishes when it comes to which parent they want to live with?
A law guardian was assigned by the court (i filed petition to modify custody order from 2020); they asked the child if they wanted to move and they said “no, the child expressed that they were afraid of hurting that parents feelings by wanting to move”…is this a fair assessment of what is best for the child in determining factor of changing custody? Child is 12 y/o. Part of my evidence exhibits are txts btwn the other parent and myself over the last 3 years showing the pattern of behavior on their part of making unilateral decisions, undermining me as a parent, making disparaging comments about me to my child, interfering w/my parenting time, replacing my role as parent with “other” individuals & disregarding any concerns I have for the child. Coparenting communication has become impossible. What if the child is being forced to say yes or no, or feels pressured? how is this fair to the child and fair to the parent seeking a change in custody due to many overall variables?
A:
In child custody cases in New York, the judge does consider the child's wishes, especially when the child is of sufficient age and maturity to express a reasoned preference. At 12 years old, your child's opinions may indeed be given weight in the court's decision. However, the judge will look at the whole picture, not just the child's stated preference.
The law guardian's report about your child's reluctance to express a preference due to fear of hurting the other parent's feelings will be one of many factors the judge considers. The court's ultimate goal is to determine what is in the best interest of the child. This includes evaluating the overall environment, stability, and care each parent can provide, along with your evidence of the other parent's behavior.
It's crucial to convey your concerns about the child's ability to express their true feelings freely and any potential undue influence. Your attorney can help highlight how these dynamics might be impacting the child's stated preferences.
Your situation underscores the complexity of custody disputes and the court's challenging task of balancing various factors, including the child's expressed wishes, evidence presented by both parents, and the overall circumstances affecting the child's best interests.
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