Q: Why after 7 years of being a fit mother and filing half a dozen times for joint custody, I still don't have it?
award me joint custody of our daughter? I've been accused of doing drugs, which I disproved over and over with clean hair follicle tests, having my child withheld whenever the father feels like changing the schedule. Also, when my daughter was a baby and I asked the judge when I can raise her, he said "baby steps". Now, when I mentioned that, he said "Well now Im telling you no!". I get to see my daughter every other weekend and Wednesday nights. I thought New Jersey was a 50/50 state. Am I crazy or is this judge just super biased, or he's just trying to keep the status quo which is unjust, and it makes me sick. I cannot afford an attorney and the one time I did, I was ordered to pay the fathers attorney fees! I'm at my wits end.
A: I understand your frustration but there are pieces to this story that are missing and the best advice I can give you is to sit down with an experienced divorce lawyer to review the history of the court orders entered in your matter and review the certifications filed in support of your requests and in opposition to your requests. Once a lawyer has reviewed those documents, he / she will be in a better position to advise you how to move forward more constructively.
A:
In order to file for a modification or change to a preexisting custody order, the moving party needs to demonstrate that circumstances have changed since the prior order and that the current custody/parenting time schedule is no longer in the child's best interests. Depending on the facts and what has changed since the prior order was entered, meeting this legal standard may be challenging.
I would also note that going to Court is not your only option for modifying a child custody order or child custody agreement. If the parties agree, they can attend mediation or other forms of alternative dispute resolution in an attempt to settle outstanding custody/parenting time issues outside of court.
Lastly, if one party is willfully violating the Court's directive on custody and parenting time, it may be possible to file an enforcement action, asking the Court to enforce the ordered custody schedule. As part of an enforcement action, it may be appropriate to request makeup parenting time or (depending on the severity of the circumstances), sanctions against the violating party.
I would recommend consulting a family law or child custody attorney who can offer specific legal advice tailored to your situation and answer any questions you may have. I wish you and your family all the best as you navigate what sounds like a fraught situation.
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