My former friend has a delusional belief I am going to kill him and is threatening to go to police. What do I do?

Question

My former male friend was accused by a former female friend of rape. They are both alcoholics. I also knew the male for a longer period of time. Last year, my former male friend said my female friend claimed I was going to kill him. I was not planning on killing him. He sent me a series of strange texts, we talked, and then he realized he was wrong. My female friend died recently in 2024 and my male friend has recently told me via text thinks I am planning to kill him and he's told people and clinicians and may contact the authorities. I've been arrested before and am afraid if my male friend actually contacts the police that I could get arrested, and even possibly hurt/killed during the arrest. He's also admittedly said these claims to other people who will likely gossip and damage my reputation. Because I've been to jail before, I'm reluctant to call police and am too poor to hire a lawyer possibly. I am not sure I can contact a public defender without any known charges. I'm scared.

James L. Arrasmith · Answer

This is a challenging and potentially dangerous situation, so it's understandable that you feel scared. Here are some steps you can consider taking: 
 
1. Document everything: Save all the text messages and any other communications from your former friend that demonstrate his delusional beliefs and threats. This evidence may be crucial if you need to defend yourself legally. 
 
2. Avoid contact: Refrain from engaging with your former friend, as any interaction might be misinterpreted and used against you. Do not respond to his texts or attempts to communicate with you. 
 
3. Seek legal advice: Even if you can't afford a private lawyer, many areas have legal aid clinics or organizations that provide free or low-cost legal advice. Look for such resources in your area and explain your situation to them. They may be able to guide you on how to protect yourself legally. 
 
4. Consider a restraining order: If you feel threatened, you might be able to file for a restraining order against your former friend. This can help legally prevent him from contacting or coming near you. A legal aid clinic can advise you on this process. 
 
5. Gather character references: Reach out to people who know you well and can vouch for your character. Having statements from credible individuals can help counter any false accusations. 
 
6. Be cautious and vigilant: Take precautions to ensure your safety, such as informing trusted friends or family members about the situation and being aware of your surroundings. 
 
7. If contacted by the police: If the police do contact you, remain calm and polite. Exercise your right to remain silent and request a lawyer. Avoid saying anything that could be misinterpreted or used against you. 
 
Remember, your safety and well-being are the top priorities. Seek support from trusted friends, family, or mental health professionals to help you cope with this stressful situation. If at any point you feel you are in imminent danger, don't hesitate to call 911.

Q: My former friend has a delusional belief I am going to kill him and is threatening to go to police. What do I do?