Q: Could a child be forced to live with a parent during custody battles even if they don't want to?

A: Yes. In most US states, a child becomes an adult who can make his or her own decisions about where to live when they turn 18 years of age. In most US states, where a child wants to live can be considered by a court. Different states allow a child to express in a written instrument filed with the court were they want to live at different age benchmarks, typically between 10-17 years of age. Typically, the older and more mature a child is, the greater weight a judge will give to the child's wishes.

A child's choice is not dispositive, and the facts and circumstances affect the weight a judge will give to a child's expressed wishes. In particular, sometimes a parent strongly influences a child's opinion about the other parent during a custody battle by filtering and controlling what information the child receives and how the child receives it. Some refer to this as "parental alienation." In those instances, a child's choice might be perceived as evidence of such alienation.

A wise judge (or family court service caseworker or custody evaluator) will ask the child the most important question: why? If a child says I want to live with my mom because then I can finish high school with my best friend and the classmates I grew up with in a familiar school with teachers I already know something about and according to the educational plan we worked out my freshman year: Wish Granted! If a child says my father is a narcissistic liar who cheated on my mom while trying to control us and has never been there for me my whole life: Parental Alienation - mom is poisoning the child against her father!!!