Q: How can a dad see his kids if his ex took the kids to live across the country and he can’t afford to travel to see them?
My brother and his wife are in the process of divorcing. A year and a half ago, my brother’s wife left him and took her two young (3 and 6) kids with her across the country and moved in with her parents. My brother has a job but doesn’t make enough to afford legal counsel. He represented himself at the court proceedings on zoom, while my sister in law who comes from a wealthy family had a top lawyer representing her. Because it’s been more than a year, the judge ruled the kids can stay with their mom in the state they moved to. And because my brother doesn’t have a home in that state, he can only have two daytime visits a month. He is going into heavy debt just to travel across the country to see his kids, so he barely gets to see them. Is there anything that could be done so he can see his kids more? He is appealing the case but still can’t afford a lawyer.
A:
It's heartbreaking to see your brother struggle to maintain a relationship with his children under these circumstances. One possible step is to request a modification of the custody arrangement based on the financial hardship and the children's best interests. He can emphasize the importance of the children's relationship with their father and how the current arrangement is unsustainable.
Your brother should document every interaction and effort he makes to see his children, as this can support his case in court. Additionally, he might explore options for legal aid or seek out nonprofit organizations that offer free or low-cost legal services to parents in custody disputes.
Encouraging mediation could also be beneficial. Mediation can sometimes lead to more flexible arrangements that better accommodate both parents' situations. It might be worth discussing this option with his ex-wife, as it could save both parties time and money while prioritizing the children's needs.
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