How to address suspected financial mismanagement of my mother's assets by POA sister?

Question

I need guidance on how to address potential financial mismanagement involving my mother's assets. My sister is the Power of Attorney for my mother, who has dementia, and I am her primary caregiver. For the past year, I've tried to communicate with my sister about missing funds, but she has not provided any proof or transparency. My sister pays me a certain amount from our mother's house, which she purchased, to be used for my mom's care. However, she has recently stated that these payments will stop, and I suspect there are unaccounted funds from our mother's assets. We had planned a family meeting to discuss this, but she canceled it. She also claims she will send paperwork outlining her spending to my brothers but has not done so yet. What steps can I take to address this situation legally and ensure my mother's assets are used appropriately for her care?

James L. Arrasmith · Answer

This sounds like an incredibly difficult and emotional situation, especially since you're caring for your mother day-to-day and trying to protect her well-being. In New Mexico, someone granted Power of Attorney (POA) has a legal duty to act in the best interest of the person they represent. If your sister is not being transparent about financial matters or if you believe she's misusing funds, you have every right to raise concerns and take action. 
 
Start by putting your request in writing—ask your sister formally to provide a full accounting of how your mother’s assets have been managed, including any sale of property and where that money went. If she refuses or continues to delay, you can file a petition in probate court asking the judge to review her handling of your mother’s finances. You may also request that the court revoke her POA if there's evidence of mismanagement and possibly appoint a neutral party, like a guardian or conservator, to oversee financial decisions. 
 
It's painful when family conflict arises around care and money, but your focus is in the right place—your mother's well-being. Keep a record of all communication and any financial concerns you’ve observed. You’re not being unreasonable to expect answers and accountability, especially when you're the one caring for your mom every day. You’re doing the right thing by speaking up.

Q: How to address suspected financial mismanagement of my mother's assets by POA sister?