Q: Mom and i have a deportation order 19 yrs ago. Dad is abusive and we have no criminal record what can we do?
Was the abuse ever reported to the police or other law enforcement? I strongly encourage you and your mother to consult with a licensed, experienced immigration attorney (and not an unlicensed notary or consultant) about your situations. There is not enough information here to determine whether you possibly may qualify for a U visa or VAWA, and even if there were, that is a legal determination that needs to be made only after a private, detailed consultation. If the cost of even a consultation with a private attorney is a concern, there is a list of attorneys and organizations that offer pro bono or reduced fee services to those who meet the attorney/organization's eligilibty requirements at http://www.justice.gov/eoir/probono/states.htm.
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