Q: Is communication between my husband and our son (who is 5) while he is dealing with a criminal court case a problem?
My husband of six years tried to film my sister in the shower a week ago. She pressed charges. He has a warrant out, and he is going to turn himself him. He is not living at home. He understands the gravity and is willing to pay the price and take his consequences. The video is dark - you can only see his face when he is attempting to set the camera up, and then the lights go out and the shower starts to run but you cannot see her. They are charging him with a Class A Misdemeanor. My sister told the cops she 'wanted him dead' and has told me she doesn't believe he should EVER have communication with his son - as in, EVER. I'm struggling with the sudden loss of a relationship, the betrayal and the feelings I still have since I was still very much in the marriage. I have not yet considered divorce. She would never speak to me again if I were to not divorce him, however. I'm not sure which way to go with this in the current situation, at least with where our son is involved.
A: It sounds like your sister wants punishment that is bigger than the crime. What he did was wrong, but should be lose his marriage and contact with his son over it? Or should you forgive him and try to understand why he did it, and reconcile? That's for you to decide. Your sister will find her own way--don't let her hold your marriage hostage.
Legally speaking, it sounds to me like your husband can communicate with you and his son until he is prevented from doing so by a court order, like a protective order. Without seeing more details about your situation, it's hard to say for sure.
Your husband and your family will have the best outcome if you hire a skilled attorney to help your husband through this trouble.
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