Q: My daughter is uncomfortable around her father and doesn't want to see him anymore. What do I do to have her heard?
My ex and I never married(he left me while pg) I have been with my now husband since she was a few months old. She's always lived with us and only visits her father one day for a few hours. She is uncomfortable around him. She doesn't really want to go on that one day but we (myself and my husband) have been making her go until recently. She doesn't want more time with him. She doesn't really want any. He missed a lot and she is now a young lady. She has anxiety attacks about spending time with him. We have been very easy to get along with. We never had court orders. Letting them spend time whenever he would ask. He never asks for extra time. When he has asked he cancels and shows up late for the one day of scheduled time even though he cries he wants more time, offering early pickup. We've also been very lenient about child support. (None in a yr and a half. Not my priority obviously.) How can I be sure she'll be heard in court? She's almost 13.
A: This is a difficult situation. I strongly suggest that you at least have a consultation with a family law attorney in your area to get some guidance. Many offer free consults. It is probably best for you to file an application with the court establishing custody, parenting time and child support formally, so that there are no questions about these issues going forward. If you believe that your child is being emotionally harmed by the visits with her father, consider a therapist who can not only assist her, but who can make recommendations to the court, if needed, about parenting time going forward. Depending on the judge (it is up to them, solely), your daughter may be interviewed about her feeling in the judge's chambers.
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