Q: Can I ask for child support and alimony before divorce gets started?
My husband of almost 9 years left in Aug 2016 on his own. He left me and our 2 children in the home(in NJ) and moved in with his parents. We were supposed to file a separation agreement with the courts until we were ready to go through with the divorce. He filed for divorce in June. I am not ready emotionally or financially.He pays the bills for the house but nothing else. I was served on Aug 14 with the papers. I cannot afford a lawyer retainer so I am trying to answer the complaint on my own. That is my first issue. Second, I went to the courthouse to file for child support. They gave me the documents and I have to fill them out. They told me I could ask for w/e I want. I am not sure what to include b/c he told me if I file for cs, he would stop paying the bills. Also, there are several repairs in the home that I need help paying for since he will not come back and fix them himself. Any advice on either of these problems would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
A:
Hello and thanks for reaching out. I'm sorry to hear of your difficulties; separation and divorce are never easy for anyone, without question. You bring up several issues in your question that I will do my best to answer with the information that you gave me.
First, you are not required to have an attorney represent you in family court, but it is strongly advised, especially if your husband has an attorney. This is a very uneven playing field because the attorney will know the law and all the ins and outs. So, strongly consider at the very least a consultation with an attorney for more specific advice. You only have 35 days to respond to the complaint for divorce, so do not hesitate. If you do not answer within 35 days, your husband has the right to file for a default judgment of divorce, meaning that the divorce will proceed without your participation.
With regard to child support/possible spousal support: yes, you can file for what is called "pendente lite" support or, support during the time the divorce is ongoing. Child support in New Jersey is calculated using the NJ Child Support Guidelines, which is a standard computer program used by all courts to come up with a child support figure, taking into account items such as income, overnights and out of pocket expenses for your children. I cannot give you a figure, without more income information.
Alimony, known now as spousal support, is not calculated by a program, like child support. Whether or not to give alimony is totally up to the judge and the court will consider factors such as length of marriage, the need for the support, the ability of you to work, your education level, etc. Again, without more information about your family, it's nearly impossible for me to tell you if you would get support and if so, how much. It may be more than, equal to or less than the household expenses he is paying, now. But, the court would absolutely take into consideration that he has been paying those expenses all this time.
I strongly advise you to at least consult an attorney. We have a state-wide practice but many other family law attorneys offer free consultations as well. Hope this was helpful. Regards, Bari
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