Q: What happens if my husband wants to file for divorce but I don't want to? I haven't been served with any papers yet.

A: You cannot stop your husband from seeking a divorce if he satisfies the Court that he has a valid ground for divorce. To properly answer your questions and address your concerns, the best way to handle this is by retaining an experienced matrimonial attorney. You need the best attorney you can afford, do not let geographic considerations be a factor in your choice of an attorney. Pick the best lawyer you can find and remember one rule: a good lawyer is generally never cheap, and a cheap lawyer is generally never good so don't choose based on price.

A: Thanks so much for your question, and I'm sorry you are going through a hard time. While it may be not exactly what you want to hear, your husband does not need your permission or agreement to file for or even get a divorce. All he really needs in order to get a divorce is proof that you were properly served all of the correct paperwork that is required by the court. Proper service means you were personally handed the paperwork by a sheriff or a professional process server. Your spouse may send you papers in the mail that include a waiver of your right to be personally served. I would not sign any documents until you have had at least a consultation with an experienced family law attorney.

Please be aware that you have 35 days only to respond to the divorce complaint once you are properly served. If you do not respond, your husband can still get a divorce. He would tell the court that you failed to respond, or defaulted, and ask that the divorce move forward anyway. So, do not hesitate once you get the papers.

Separation and divorce are never easy. Talk to a family law attorney who can advise you. We have a state-wide practice, but many other attorneys offer free consultations, too. Wishing you the best of luck, Bari.