Q: My twin boys are 13. How many nights can my co-parent leave them home alone while traveling out of state?

A: Hi and thanks for your question. Whether or not a child can be left home alone is a question that we frequently get so you are not alone in wondering what the guidelines are in this type of situation. I will do my best to answer you in general terms here on this public forum and hopefully provide you with some helpful information.

Contrary to what many parents believe, there is no law in New Jersey that specifies at what age a child can be left home alone or even left alone overnight. Of course, if a child is being abused or neglected by being left alone at home, say, with no food or water, then DYFS (now, DCPP) laws and regulations on abuse/neglect would apply. But, if the child is otherwise well cared for and not being neglected, then there really is no clear cut, hard line rule that applies.

DCPP does have guidelines that it suggests that parents consider when deciding to leave their children home alone. They include parents looking at and weighing various factors such as the age of the child, the abilities of the child, their level of judgment and maturity, their general health and development. Other factors parents should consider are the reasonableness that the child can care for himself for a limited period of time while the parent is out, the number of children in the home, when the parent is expected to return, if there is a telephone available, how often the child is left home alone, if the child knows how to contact the parent or call a neighbor/other adult/police.

As you can see, there are various factors that you can evaluate on behalf of your 13 year old children when determining if they can and should be left alone overnight. If, after looking at these factors, you do not believe your children will be able to care for themselves, then I would not agree to this arrangement. I do not think it is unreasonable for your ex to provide additional monies for the children if she is asking you to take them for additional overnight time. However, this would be an agreement between the two of you and, unless you file a motion with the court asking for additional child support or have a written agreement with your ex that you file with the court, this would not be an order that you could enforce.

If you are feeling like you need further advice or more detailed information based upon your specific family, consider a consultation with a family law attorney for more guidance. We are a state-wide law firm, but many others also offer free consultations, as well. Hoping this was helpful. Regards, Bari