Q: Can a 15 soon to be 16 year old girl chose what parent she wants to live with? In New Jersey

A: Hello and thanks for asking your question, here. I'm sorry to hear that your daughter is not having a great relationship with her dad; I'm sure it's tough on her and the whole family. I can certainly give you some general advice and guidance in response to your question and I hope you will find it helpful.

Your question raises two issues: custody and relocation. They can certainly be intertwined and from what you say, it seems like you already have residential custody and dad has parenting time (even though he's not really using it.) So, when you ask if your child can 'choose' who she wants to live with, it seems like she is already living with you and you have custody. Don't forget, this is a public forum, so more questions would be asked about your situation in order to give you more specific advice in a private consultation with a family attorney.

That being said, it appears as though you want to relocate out of New Jersey with your child. There actually has been a recent change to the law in New Jersey with regard to relocation. In the past, the parent wishing to move only had to show the court that where they were going was at least as good as New Jersey in terms of education, doctors, etc. Now, the parent wishing to move has to prove that moving is actually in the child's best interests. So, it's a little tougher of a burden. And, having residential custody does not guarantee that the move will be approved by the court.

I would start to gather information about where you want to go. How are the schools? Why is the move to a new state in your child's best interests? Do you have better employment opportunities there? Does your child have special needs or talents that can be handled in the new school district? Have you researched pediatricians, dentists, recreational activities? All this info would go to prove your case to the judge.

Given your child's age, the judge may consider her wishes about moving, but it is up to the judge if he wants to hear from her and if he does, how much weight he would give to her thoughts about it.

Certainly consider a free consultation with a family law attorney to get even more specific advice for you and your daughter. We have offices throughout New Jersey, but many family lawyers also offer a free consult. Hoping this helped. Regards, Bari

A: It is unfortunate that your daughter and her father have no relationship. You need to retain counsel to bring a Motion which will you allow to leave the state with your daughter based on increased economic opportunity and other things. A plenary hearing, which will be like a miniature trial. To properly answer your questions and address your concerns, the best way to handle this is by retaining an experienced matrimonial attorney. You need the best attorney you can afford, do not let geographic considerations be a factor in your choice of an attorney. Pick the best lawyer you can find and remember one rule: a good lawyer is generally never cheap, and a cheap lawyer is generally never good so don't choose based on price.