Q: My Dr.s say I need to get my elderly mother out of my house NOW, to keep my sanity. How do I do that?
I'm on disability for depression and since allowing my mother to move in with me 5 yrs ago, I have developed major PTSD. I was emotionally and physically abused as a child. And when my mother became unable to care for herself, I was the only person who stepped forward to take care of her. I thought at 52 yrs old, I had gotten over my past and was emotionally able to deal with my mother now on my terms. Unfortunately, I was wrong. Living with her again just brought back up all the memories I had tried to forget, and that is why I developed the PTSD. Sometimes she can just be standing close to me, and I get cold chills and have to move away. I've asked Dr.s for help, contacted every agency I could find, but no help. Do you have any answers?
A:
Sorry for your situation. I will try to give some guidance.
Short answer is that if you either own the house or are the tenant on the lease, you do not legally have to let her stay with you. It is admirable that you stepped up, but you can also step down. If she refuses to leave then you have options to seek her being removed from the property as the issue is purely a landlord tenant type matter. You should consult with a landlord attorney in your area to give them the full background on the living arrangement. Then once the attorney knows what those arrangements are, they can assist you to start the legal process to have her removed.
Good luck,
A:
Another option would be if you mother is unable to care for herself and her income is not sufficient to pay for a skilled nursing facility, then if her assets are less than the asset cap and her income is less than the income cap, the social worker at a skilled nursing facility that accepts Medicaid can assist you with admission of your mother to the facility and application for Medicaid. If the social worker at the nursing facility tells you that your mother's income or assets exceed the cap, then you would need to retain an elder law attorney near you to assist you and your mother with planning for admission to skilled nursing.
I know that this is more involvement than you may wish at this time, but if your mother could qualify for Medicaid for skilled nursing, then this situation would be taken care of once and for all. You would have your privacy, and your mother would receive the care that she needs.
You are not financially or personally responsible for your mother, but I would think that helping her get a placement in a skilled nursing facility and Medicaid eligible may be something important for you to consider. If she moves to a nursing facility and received Medicaid to pay for the balance, the nursing facility can become her representative payee for her social security and keep her personal needs allowance of $105 for month in a petty cash account for her incidentals. The rest of her income each month would go to the facility.
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