Q: My 81-year-old mom is living in a dangerous situation due to her hoarding. Can I do something to force her to get help?
My brother is living with her and I believe he is making the problem worse. She isn't getting the doctor's care she needs. He refuses to allow her to part with any of the items that may be worth money to help get her into a nursing care facility. Ideally, I would like to have everything including her house sold by the end of July and her moved into a care facility. She has been saying for the last 20 years this is what she wants also however neither her nor my brother have been taking steps towards it. She has fractured her back and is going up/downstairs to the kitchen. She cannot cook as the stove is broken. I will be going to Ohio next week. What can I do to force the issue and get her the help she needs?
A: If you cannot persuade her to do what is necessary, then you could attempt to be appointed her guardian by filing in the probate court, but you would need a doctor to confirm that she is not fully mentally competent and requires a guardian. Your brother may be taking advantage of the situation to keep a place to live for himself. Persuade her to meet with an estate planning attorney to review her situation, especially Medicaid planning, and to at least execute a health care power of attorney and a financial power of attorney. Use the Find a Lawyer tab to find a local estate planning attorney who practices elder law and is familiar with Medicaid. But it might not be possible to "force" her to do anything.
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