Q: I'm separated from my husband who has bipolar. I'd like to use a mediator but I want full custody. Is this recommended?
My husband and I are in good standing, but instability, physical/verbal abuse led to the separation. Due to his mental instability, I want full custody of our 1 1/2 year old son, but still want him to get some visitation rights. I'd like to use a mediator to save costs and the stress/pain/ugliness that can come with getting lawyers involved. He's been out of work for two years, and I don't want any child support or to have to pay alimony/spousal support. Is it possible to successfully work with a mediator through this or is it too complicated?
A: A mediator doesn't decide who gets how much parenting time (formerly known as custody and visitation), a judge does. If you value your child, find a good lawyer. What you call the "stress/pain/ugliness that can come with getting lawyers involved" is NOTHING like the stress/pain/ugliness that can come when lawyers are not involved at the outset and have to come in later to clean up the mess made in their absence. Get a lawyer. I repeat, get a lawyer.
1 user found this answer helpful
A: It is certainly possible for mediation to be successful. However, from my experience, mediation requires that both spouses be reasonable in their thinking, and free from significant emotional impairments. Your description of your husband does not lend itself to his being a mediation candidate.
1 user found this answer helpful
A:
Illinois doesn't have custody/visitation anymore.
Instead, it uses parenting plans.
This is the recommended Parenting Plan form:
http://www.illinoiscourts.gov/Forms/approved/divorce/Divorce_with_Children_Parenting_Plan.pdf
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