Q: Can anyone give me information on what to do about elder mother not able to live alone. I live in Tx
I live in Tx. with my mother who is 84 and I know she has some form of dementia but hasn't been diagnosed by a specialist. I can't get her to go to the neurologist even though her regular dr wanted her to be evaluated. She needs help either needs to be placed in a home or something. I have tried my hardest to help her in every way possible and she refuses my help. She is not safe being left alone. She hallucinates constantly and is aggressive and thinks people are out to get her and steal her money.I don't know where or whom to turn to. She leaves her stove on half the time and she doesn't know how to work the central heat and air system. She is always turning the thermostat on and off and from cold to warm. She sleeps with her dog and cat food because she thinks people will steal it. The list goes on and on.I can't get her to take medicine anymore or go to dr. Please tell me if I have any options! She doesn't have or will not make anyone POA. I'm at a loss.
A: First of all, I'm sorry you're in this position. My heart always goes out to people assisting a parent with memory or other cognitive problems. It is very tough.
I recommend calling Adult Protective Services ("APS") and the Department of Aging and Disability Services ("DADS"). Do an internet search to get the correct phone numbers for them. These are state agencies designed to help people just like your mom.
I would not be surprised if APS tells you that you need to apply for guardianship. You can apply to become your mother's guardian, which would give you the ability to check her into a facility and/or sign up for caretakers to help. You will need a guardianship lawyer for this process, but the county may be able to help with some of the cost.
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