Q: My daughter’s dad revealed how his mom was murder while watching her years ago. She’s not the same what I need to do?
She just turned 10 and still has her child mentality. He told her everything even with details, she’s been crying and down since she came back from her dad’s house. He didn’t even prepare her or made sure to keep an eye on her and her emotions. She’s not my little happy girl anymore and it’s killing me.
A: My guess is that your daughter asked her father something about his mother or how she died, and he responded, telling her the details. You and I were not present when that conversation took place or even if he suggested to her that she may not want to hear the details, but the bottom line is that she now knows and is suffering emotionally thinking about her death. Every child handle death differently and I dont know if there is ever a good way to present the murder of a family member. Im sure that the issue is also very sensitive to your ex and I dont think he will respond well to anything you say to him other than to simply say that your daughter is suffering thinking about her grandmother being murdered and you would like to get her counseling to help her process it and that you would like him to participate and share in the cost of the counselling. Even if he does not offer to share in the cost of the counseling, ask him to participate in the counseling sessions. It may help him deal with his own grief and hopefully as a result of that process, he will also realize that he should share in the cost as well.
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